Just so we know what we're
talking about, here is the blurb I use for this story:
The
Rented Pet is a bittersweet 14,000-word story about two dogs and
the humans in their constellation. Set in a specific neighborhood in 1970's
Brooklyn, New York, the story chronicles social change: specifically,
gentrification. In so doing, it serves as an elegy for a passing world.
Principal Characters:
Rex, The Rented Pet. An old
German Shepherd trained as a blind dog.
Julia: His female companion.
Mildred Schaap: bookkeeper.
Jerry Kaplan: carpenter.
Joe Bassano: supervisor of a
moving van yard.
Charles Miller: a blind poet who
operates a newspaper kiosk.
Dr. Matt Brunn: a veterinarian.
Contents:
Part One: Renting the Pet.
Part Two: The pet is menaced. A
romance begins.
Part Three: The romance
blossoms. A companion is acquired for Rex, who is also seriously injured.
Part Four: At a party to
celebrate Rex's recovery, his past is revealed.
Epilogue: Both dogs die. The Funeral.
Elegy (written and recited by
Charles Miller, after the manner of "Ode to Stephen Dowling Botts, Dec'd,"
by Mark Twain):
Let
men be bold, let truth be told,
These two were a king and
his queen.
Of noble scions, their hearts
like lions',
No bone in their bodies,
mean.
To the lonely and the
blind, ever were they kind,
These
paragons of canine race.
They came, they saw, they
overcame,
Leaving Earth a worthier
place.
So let's raise a cup, drink it all
up,
Here's afterlife to Rex and to
Julia,
Let's hope where they are,
whether near or far far,
There's food, water and sex, hallelujah.
Writing
about my own story is a bit tricky. It reminds me of Robert Frost's reply to
someone at a reading who asked him what a poem of his meant. To paraphrase, "You
want me to explain it in worse English?" There are things I can safely say
about "The Pet," and things that feel less safe. To start with the
latter, there is always the matter of influence, which can be a sub-species of
the False-Cause fallacy. (A happened,
then B happened, so A caused B.)
Okay,
I've already admitted to a Mark Twain knock-off. I'll also admit that, as I
wrote this small serial, I had grandiose visions of Londoners queuing (in
yellow fog) for the latest monthly number of, say, Oliver Twist. Is the story Dickensian? Is the story Gogolesque? Maybe.
I love Gogol enough to have written a previous story called "A Nose for a
Jacket." (The conflation in the title will be obvious to fellow
Gogol-olators.) Literary influences? People have said my work reminds them of
Raymond Carver's. Really? I haven't read a word of his. People say a lot of
things.
On
the safer side is Brooklyn, which provided the time and place for The Rented Pet. But that's only the
beginning: Brooklyn is in the pores of the story. I've written other things,
poems and stories and essays, all of which are about Brooklyn. Many of these
feature the theme of gentrification mentioned in the blurb. Take this poisonous
little poem (published in the borough's own Brooklyn
Rail):
Motherfuckerless
Brooklyn
Thanks to vegans, yuppies,
hipsters, muffies,
the lurid and the florid give
way to
"Oh my God, these diaper
prices!"
and "Isn't inflation the
poo!"
From "lick my dick,"
to "macrobiotic,"
from "asshole," to "alternative,"
the mother tongue is sucking
hind tit:
Brooklynese is lexiconically depleted.
Thank god we still have our
immigrants:
性交,, Chinese, for "fuck"; mierda, Spanish, for "shit."
But mark my words,
motherfuckers, at this rate,
how much longer can batty
Brooklynites echolocate?
Fucking A! If not for jerk-offs
like me and you,
the expletives would all be
deleted.
I
even wrote a sequel, words that could have been uttered by Joe Bassano or Jerry
Kaplan:
Say
What?
A Reply
to Mr. Ron Singer's "Motherfuckerless Brooklyn"
Yo,
Ronnie. Say what, illiewhacker!
You gotta lotta shit wit' you,
gavoon.
Do you really know fuck-all
about
that of which you speak, you
skank ho?
This "poem" of yours
takes it up the coolee.
What's with the baby Spanish and
Chinese?
No estes
chingando, you mamzer, you!
Or manzo le gausha, perhaps, Mon-soor?
Duh-ta-duh, put it in your
pocket, Ron.
"Deplete the
lexi-fucking-con"?
I mean, not to give you leather,
fuckweed,
but you don't even know the "lexicon."
You think you some badass
motherfucker,
but I bet you just some poo-sie
from The Ci-ty.
(acknowledgment: Many terms are
borrowed from "Brooklynisms," compiled by James Lampos and Michaelle
Pearson: http://www.lampos.com/brooklyn.htm)
Those
words could have also been uttered by one of several neighbors of mine, when I
lived on 14th Street (between 5th and 6th avenues).
Two real-life examples:
e.g. #1:
RS: So, boys, what do you think
of the tree [that I had the city plant in front of my house]? It's doing well,
isn't it?
Neighbor: I don't like it. I can't
see Richie from my front yard anymore.
Richie
lived on my side, three or four houses down, and across the street from the
speaker. The speaker's front yard was paved. He had it paved the day after a
young passer-by snipped a rose from his bush to give to his girl friend. This
neighbor's open garage had a bar and flashing Bud sign.
e.g. #2:
Once, the neighbor brought a
puppy home, and, when asked why, by his irate wife, he replied, "I had a
package on down at the Post." He meant the local VFW post (and, if it
needs translation, he had drunk a six-pack). This anecdote morphed into the "banquet"
scene in "The Pet." When the neighbor died and I asked his friend the
cause, the reply was, "He died of Budweiser."
Culture
clash. That's what "The Pet" is about –and it takes sides, both of
them. I should explain that I was right in the middle of this clash. When my
wife and I moved back to New York in the mid-70's, we followed everyone's
advice and chose already gentrified Park Slope. Of course, in those days, it
was a good, cheap outpost of Manhattan's Upper West Side. We had a big,
beautiful floor-through in a brownstone for $250 a month. By now P.S. is a
fairly nice, not-so-cheap outpost of Manhattan's Upper East Side, a silk
stocking district for the other leg.
After
about ten years, we were evicted by our old-school Italian landlord, who
re-possessed our apartment for a son and his wife, refugees from her parents'
home on Staten Island. Park Slope, we found, was now unaffordable for the likes
of us. (I was by then a full-time English teacher and part-time writer; my
wife, a half-and-half painter and Art teacher). At the advice of an
architect-friend on our block, we bought an old frame house seven blocks south
of the apartment. We wound up living in this new neighborhood for over a
decade. Our daughter, brought up there, ran back when she finished college, and
now lives in a blue-collar, no-collar neighborhood of her own, Sunset Park,
with her own husband and son.
e.g. #3:
Neighbor: Uh, Ronnie, you mind
if I ask what you, uh, paid for your place?
Ronnie: Thirty thousand, six
hundred.
The
neighbor and friend almost pissed themselves, having paid about no thousand for
their houses, back when. But we all had the last laugh, I suppose (except for
the guy who died). Within ten more years, all three of the houses had been sold
for large multiples of what we had paid.
Moving
those seven rungs down the social ladder, however, gave me a serious case of
culture shock. From a tree-lined, fairly quiet street (albeit with a schoolyard
behind our building where awful things happened, such as unspeakable gang
initiations), we moved onto a block where drugs were dealt openly. Muggings
were commonplace, and, every now and then, someone was arrested for doing
something like flushing a baby down the toilet or shooting someone dead for a
quarter.
This
move was probably the biggest influence on my literary oeuvre of those decades.
I wrote several long stories that obliquely addressed my excitement and
terror... Like "The Rented Pet," their epicenters are subways, that underground inferno of those days. In "A Dream of Trains,"
an architect makes a downward social move similar to mine, though his is
prompted by divorce. After a breakdown, he recovers in a chi-chi private clinic,
in part by creating imaginative designs for subway cars. Without ruining the
end (the story is in Word Riot), it
will suffice to say he returns to the source of his breakdown. Here is one
scene in which he transmutes
his fears into art:
TWO
PLANS FOR THE RELIEF OF SUBWAY CROWDING
In
silence and with trembling hands, I hang the drawings from the stainless steel
clothespins in front of the whiteboard. The class consists of myself, the young
instructor (female), and two other "clients." There is Frederick M, a
tall fat man with sandy hair and a permanent expression of fury on his florid
face, and Dorothy S, a thin middle-aged woman whose gray face is a circus of
tics and whose fingers incessantly tap out the same tunes which, over the
years, I myself have played. The men, Frederick and myself, wear patterned
sport shirts, the instructor a dark-green, very becoming, shirt. The instructor
and I wear blue jeans and Frederick, brown corduroy trousers. Dorothy wears a
plain well-cut navy blue woolen dress.
During one of the morning
assemblies, Mason (the Director) had explained to the community (the unlocked
members) that he had, "for morale's sake", decided to outlaw
bathrobes and slippers in public spaces, except, of course, for the physically
incapacitated.
While
the always pleasant instructor coos encouragement and my two fellow-students
stare into space, I announce the title, then begin my lecture. At first my
voice is violently tremulous and much too loud, but as I proceed the trembling
subsides to a tremor and I am able to modulate the volume.
"The
concept behind these fine perspectival pictorials by the [sic] eminent architect Robert G. [no surnames here] is simple. In
every subway car, there will be two levels. I note at the outset that the cars
themselves will not need to be an inch higher than at present, since all
modifications are to be made to their interiors. It should also be acknowledged
that these modifications have been inspired by the work of Robert G's friend,
the noted neighborhood contractor, Charles F., whose work with the dropped
ceiling, although controversial, has revolutionized the re-design of historic
residential townhouses." At this point, Frederick barks a loud cough and
his red face grows even redder. Dorothy, almost imperceptibly, frowns. I try to
ignore these reactions.
"Note
that our plan is to lower the first ceilings to six feet, leaving
two-feet-four-inches above. Ladders, either permanent ones extending vertically
at either end of every car, or removable ones slanting up from the station
platforms through the large custom windows, will provide access to the upper
level." I pause to drain half the water in my large Styrofoam cup, an
appendage for most of us who suffer from constant thirst, a side effect of many
of our medications.
"You
will also note," I resume, aiming my pointer at the first drawing, "that
PLAN A calls for people who are six feet or taller to ride lying down on the
upper level." By now, Dorothy has begun to peek shyly at me, and
Frederick, to pace the room. For obvious reasons, moving around is permitted
during classes.
I
drone on. "PLAN B, on the other hand, adds to the design of PLAN A
intermittent vertical compartments wide enough to contain a single person,
exact number to be calculated by demographic survey, and reaching from the
floor of the car through to the ceiling of the upper level. Passengers six feet
and taller will be directed to these compartments. The upper level will now be
reserved for those passengers who elect to lie down and are willing to purchase
a special gold transit pass for that priv … "
At
that point, Frederick startles us all by interrupting, in his usual booming
voice: "… privilege, the theory
being that many harried commuters already look as though they would gladly pay
a surcharge for a seat, so how much more willing would they be to pay to lie
down? Conceivable, but admittedly problematic, are two additional dimensions."
I
cannot help noticing how well he has caught my tone. The instructor watches
uneasily for signs of impending violence, but since class participation is
encouraged (and often hard to come by), she allows the interrupter to continue.
Dorothy is still studying either her feet or the floor.
"The
first addition," thunders the intruder, "will be to subcontract the
upper levels to the subway prostitution firm, Darlene's Rush Hour Services for Gentlemen, of which I happen
myself to be founder and C.E.O. You may recall," he digresses from his own
digression, "that it was one of our gals who wrote the best-selling memoir,
Tightly Packed Pants. The second
ancillary dimension will be the employment of jobless youth to awaken
passengers in time for their stops, recompense to take the form of gratuities."
"Those
sure are problematic dimensions," Dorothy finally mutters, licking her
chapped lips.
My
best course is to humor him. "Thank you, Frederick," I say before he
can continue. "That presentation displayed the crisp succinctness we have
all come to expect from you." He nods brusquely, smashes a fist into a
palm, then sets off around the room again.
"It
will be apparent," I drone on, "that PLAN A is the more egalitarian,
although I will be the first to admit that even it is open to allegations of
height-ism, which, as we all know, in this city is often tantamount to racism.
Nevertheless, I feel certain that the more fundamental issue for the city
council will prove to be space utilization versus revenue return. Let me close
with a caveat: I plead with the authorities not to regard the plan –whichever
version is ultimately selected—as a panacea for the city's future fiscal ills.
Such a misuse, such a misjudgment, would lead inevitably to gross overcrowding
of the new facilities, making a mockery of the initial rationale for redesign.
Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you."
Frederick,
without interrupting his circumambulation, smashes his hands together twice;
Dorothy, expressionless, rapidly and silently taps her fingers together several
times. The instructor smiles (widely) and nods (vigorously).
"Very
good, Bob," she says. And since this has been my first class presentation
and I have been at the clinic for barely a month, she adds, "Welcome
aboard."
"The
Rented Pet" is a softer-edged, sweeter, much more gentle product of my
seven-block move. If "A Dream of Trains" was cathartic, "The Pet"
was probably homeopathic, since it made the rough characters and fierce dogs of
my new neighborhood cuddly and admirable. This story is also the most local
story I ever wrote. All the scenes are set on the corner of Prospect and Fifth
avenues, or within a few blocks of there. I dreamed "The Pet" as I
passed the corner on my way to and from the "R" train every morning
and evening. The cover painting for the book, by my wife, Elizabeth Yamin, is called "The 'R' Train."
The
culture clash is epitomized by gunslinger Kaplan's mot when a tall, lean jogger they encounter reminds him and Mildred
to clean up after Rex and Julia: "Don't you snoopy yuppies like our
puppies' poopies?" The light irony of having a lumberman so witty and
poetic permeates the story. When Mildred initially rents Rex, the proprietor of
the AARF Guard Dog store is honest enough to admit that the dog is well on in
years. "That's okay," replies Mildred, "I like an older dog."
Which, to me, echoes all sorts of cliches from old-time Hollywood romantic
movies.
Well
then, "I could tell you more about it, but it ain't no use." ("Everyday
Dirt," Old-Time Country Music,
New Lost City Ramblers). In other words, if you're hooked, why not read The Pet yourself?